runicbasso:

lizawithazed:

lettherebecramp:

deadling:

allthericeinchina:

so a deer walks into a bar

when i get drunk its so bad

Listen here, cum-slut. I bet you 5 million dollars you don’t own a deer. But guess what? I own 7. And I can tell you that a deer would NEVER just get wrecked. They’ll rarely even drink in social situations.

But let’s say your idiotic theory is right.

THAT DEER PROBABLY STILL HAD A REALLY EMBARRASSING NIGHT.

Is THAT still funny to you? Do you get your kicks from knowing that deer’s Facebook profile is probably blowing up with pictures of him grinding against the barn owl from the other side of the woods?

And if you say yes, you disgust me as a human being.

oh my god, Cramp, I can’t fucking breathe

Considering the locale of this bar, and making some gross assumptions on who frequents it, I’m really surprised there wasn’t a single patron that was packing heat that night.

Still, hilarious. 

i love still seeing “listen here, cum-slut” every now and again

(Source: onlylolgifs)

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   ALL OF THE HARRY POTTER JOKES.

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    this is the most accurate way to depict my saturday night. you can dress me up and buy me a beer but you probably...

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